So, we are almost halfway through the month of August, which in Love Project language means we’re almost halfway through the month of grand gestures.

Here are my grand gestures so far.

I published a post to everyone who has written me about their fears around love, the ones who have broken me open with their honesty, their courage. The messages I’ve received are beautiful, raw and open-hearted, and I am in awe of their authors’ bravery, their unflinching vulnerability. I wanted to show them what I can so clearly see, how their worthiness shines through every word they write, how honored I feel to be the one they tell. So I wrote a post for them, for all of us, from the most open-hearted, vulnerable place in me. And because I knew that’s where it came from – a place where I can be hurt too – it was hard to push publish.

It wasn’t a poem. It was the truth. As plain as I could tell it.

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I read a book, THE BIG LEAP, in which the author, Gay Hendricks, challenged his readers to go one day without blaming or criticizing. That felt like a grand gesture to me, and as it turns out, if difficulty contributes to a gesture’s grandness, then this absolutely qualifies. It’s unbelievably hard. I didn’t make it through a whole day. I decided I had to make the goal more manageable by directing it toward someone specific. Like my husband. I decided to go one day without criticizing or blaming him. I’m on day three, now.

Here’s the cool thing about consciously trying not to criticize or blame someone you love. It forces you to be a better communicator. I’m not the kind of person who suffers in silence, but now, when I decide it’s time to make some noise, I find myself having to rework my sentences. Criticism and blame are easy. Finding a way to talk about what’s bothering me without them… that’s hard. And exhausting. And productive. And amazing.

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I’m making A Thing. A crafty thing, involving Sharpies and phrases and doodles, maybe a picture. I’m making it for a friend who sent me A Thing that was so wonderful, so ME, I could not have felt more loved. I’m trying to make her feel that way too, but I’m not a crafty person. I have a feeling my Thing will not be as beautiful as my friend’s Thing. But it will have been made with just as much love. Which, of course, will make it beautiful to her.

Love is great like that.